Freelance Mindset Shifts — What Helped Me Stop Apologizing and Start Growing - Beautiful Life of Tokyo City of one Women

How Motherhood Became a Strength in My Freelance Journey (Not a Weakness)
Mindset Shift 1 & 2: Language That Reflects Confidence + Boundaries Are Professional
Mindset Shift 3 & 4: Seeing “Mom Skills” as Assets + Charging Like a Pro
Mindset Shift 5: Letting Go of “Full-Time Thinking” + Embracing Progress Over Perfection

How Motherhood Became a Strength in My Freelance Journey (Not a Weakness)

I used to apologize for everything.

For replying late to a message (even if it was 9 PM and I was bathing my toddler).
For having “only part-time availability.”
For background noise during a Zoom call.
For asking for deadline flexibility when my kid got sick — again.

It was like I believed being a mom somehow made me less of a professional.

I didn’t say it out loud, of course. But I showed it in how I wrote emails, how I tiptoed into projects, how I downplayed my experience because I wasn’t working full-time, or because I had gaps in my resume filled with diapers and nap schedules.

That mindset held me back more than any technical skill gap ever did.

But here’s the truth I eventually learned the hard way:

Your mindset is the soil your freelance career grows from.
And if you’re planting in guilt and fear, nothing sustainable will bloom.

The Invisible Weight Moms Carry into Freelance Work

Freelancing can be empowering — you choose your clients, set your rates, and work when your kids nap.
But it can also be mentally brutal, especially for mothers.

Why?

Because many of us carry unspoken beliefs like:

“I need to prove I’m not flaky because I’m a mom.”
“I should charge less since I can’t work full-time hours.”
“I’m late to the game. Everyone else is ahead.”
“If I focus on my business, I’m taking something away from my family.”

These beliefs don’t come from nowhere.
They’re shaped by years of being told — directly or indirectly — that professional success and motherhood don’t mix. That we’re “lucky” to work from home. That we should be grateful for any gig, no matter how underpaid.

And so we show up to freelancing already feeling behind.
Already apologizing.
Already playing small.

But that story?
It’s not the only one we can live in.

When the Shift Began for Me

There wasn’t one “aha” moment.
It was more like a series of nudges — gentle, honest conversations with other moms, clients who didn’t care if I had kids (as long as the work got done), and a lot of internal rewiring.

But one shift came after a particularly rough week. My son had a high fever, I missed a call, and I sent a long apologetic email full of exclamation points and “sorry again!”s.

The client replied with something that changed everything:

“Don’t worry at all. Hope he feels better soon. Let me know when you’re back — we’re not in a rush.”

That’s it.
No drama. No judgement. Just… human.

It made me realize I’d been assuming the worst — and leading from that fear.
I had been shrinking in my own story.

That week, I decided: no more apologies for being a mother.
Instead, I’d start learning to lead with the value I do bring — resilience, empathy, flexibility, focus, and time-awareness that only motherhood taught me.

What This Blog Will Cover

In the next sections, I’ll walk you through the actual mindset shifts that helped me stop apologizing and start growing — not just emotionally, but practically too (yes, more clients, better projects, and higher pay).

We’ll cover:

From “I’m sorry” to “Thank you for your patience” — Language swaps that signal confidence
Seeing your boundaries as professional, not selfish
Treating motherhood as a leadership skill — and marketing it that way
Charging like a pro (not a mom asking for permission)
Letting go of comparison to “full-time” freelancers

I’ll also share a few stories from fellow freelance moms who turned their supposed “limitations” into strategic strengths.

Because this isn’t just about mindset — it’s about survival, growth, and thriving on your terms.

Mindset Shift 1 & 2: Language That Reflects Confidence + Boundaries Are Professional

Mindset Shift #1: From “I’m Sorry” to “Thank You for Your Patience”

Let’s start with the most visible sign of self-doubt:
Apologizing for existing.

Before I made any structural changes in my freelance career — no new packages, no new clients — I started by changing the way I spoke. Especially in emails.

Here’s a classic version of how I used to write:

“Hi! Sorry this is late! My kid was sick this week, and I totally fell behind. I’m trying my best, but I understand if this causes any issues. Let me know if you want to reschedule!”

Yikes.

It sounds sweet. Maybe even polite. But it leaks insecurity. It trains the client to expect that I’m unreliable — even when the delay is minimal and unavoidable.

Now, here’s how I rewrite the same message today:

“Hi! Thanks so much for your patience this week. We had a rough few days at home, but I’ve attached the draft as promised. Let me know if any edits are needed — I’m available Friday morning for follow-up.”

Can you feel the difference?

No apologies. No excuses. Just:

Gratitude
Delivery
Clarity

It communicates that I’m still in control — even when life happens.

Here are a few of my favorite swaps:

Instead of…	Try saying…
“Sorry for the delay!”	“Thanks for waiting — here’s the update.”
“Sorry I can’t take this right now”	“I’m currently at capacity — let’s reconnect in X.”
“I know this is probably inconvenient…”	“Let me know if that time works for you — happy to coordinate.”

These small changes retrain your clients to trust you — not just because of your output, but because of the energy you bring into the relationship.

And more importantly, they retrain you to stop defaulting to guilt.

Mindset Shift #2: Boundaries Are Professional — Not Selfish

This one took me even longer to learn.

In the beginning, I thought setting limits made me “difficult.”
So I overcompensated — working nights, replying to messages instantly, accepting revisions on weekends, skipping rest when my child was sick. Why? Because I thought:

“If I don’t say yes to everything, they’ll think I’m not serious.”

But here’s what actually happened:
I burned out. I snapped at my kid. I lost creativity.
And worst of all? I didn’t even get more respect from clients.

It wasn’t until I started respecting my own time that others did too.

Here’s what I began doing differently:

Created clear office hours
→ I put my “availability” at the bottom of every email. (Ex: “I respond to emails within 24–48 hrs, Mon–Fri.”)
Built buffer time into deadlines
→ If I knew my son had a field trip Thursday, I didn’t pretend I could deliver on Friday morning. I asked for Monday.
Used templates for “No”
→ Instead of ghosting or over-explaining, I had a kind, clear reply ready:“Thanks for reaching out! I’m not taking on new projects this month, but I appreciate you thinking of me.”
Set a rule for urgent messages
→ If something has to be answered within hours, I let clients know they need to call/text — otherwise, it waits.

Real Result: A Client I Was Afraid to Lose… Respected Me More

Here’s a true story.

I had a great client — high-paying, kind, but used to working with full-time freelancers. I was nervous to bring up my availability, especially after they emailed asking for a same-day turnaround.

Instead of caving, I replied:

“I want to make sure I give this the attention it deserves. Would tomorrow morning work instead?”

They said:

“Absolutely — I appreciate your focus!”

That was it.

No drama. No loss. Just mutual respect.

Setting boundaries didn’t damage the relationship. It strengthened it. Because strong professionals — even moms working from the playroom — respect their energy.

Why This Matters More Than You Think

You might be thinking:
“Okay, this all sounds great. But I still feel behind. Other freelancers don’t have to schedule around drop-offs and dance recitals.”

I get it.

But here’s something no one told me when I started:

Clients don’t hire you for your hours. They hire you for your value.
You can deliver that value — and protect your wellbeing — at the same time.

When you show that you’re clear, focused, and reliable within your chosen limits, you’ll stand out more than someone who’s always available but constantly overwhelmed.

Boundaries aren’t barriers.
They are the structure that supports your growth.

Mindset Shift 3 & 4: Seeing “Mom Skills” as Assets + Charging Like a Pro

Mindset Shift #3: Treating Motherhood as a Leadership Skill — and Marketing It That Way

I used to hide the fact that I was a mom on my portfolio site.
I thought it would make me look “less available,” “less professional,” or worse — “less serious.”

But what if I told you that being a mom has taught me more about leadership, time management, and emotional intelligence than any corporate job I’ve had?

Once I stopped compartmentalizing motherhood and freelancing, I realized:

Motherhood is a masterclass in adaptability. In multitasking. In conflict resolution.
It’s not a distraction — it’s training.

Let me give you a few examples of “mom skills” I now include in pitches, calls, and even my LinkedIn profile:

Time efficiency: I get deep work done in 60-minute blocks most people waste scrolling Slack.
Empathy: I understand audience psychology better now because I literally communicate with someone who speaks their mind all day.
Crisis management: Kid vomits during a client call? No panic. We solve problems fast and with humor.
Project management: Running a household, managing school calendars, appointments, AND client timelines? That’s high-level coordination.

Instead of downplaying this, I started integrating it into how I describe my work style. Here’s how I reframed it:

“As a mom, I’ve mastered time-blocking, emotional awareness, and flexible problem-solving — skills I use daily in managing creative projects under tight timelines.”

Clients don’t roll their eyes at that. They nod. They often say,

“Honestly, I need someone like that.”

Because let’s be real: the freelance world isn’t just about your portfolio. It’s about how you show up — and moms show up resilient. Every day.

Mindset Shift #4: Charging Like a Pro — Not Like a Mom Asking for Permission

Let’s talk about money.
The most uncomfortable mindset shift — and one of the most powerful.

Here’s the harsh truth:

If you price yourself like someone who “just needs a little extra income,”
you’ll be treated like someone who’s doing this as a hobby.

When I first started freelancing, I undercharged massively. I’d calculate what I needed to make, then try to keep the number “reasonable.” You know, so I wouldn’t seem “greedy” or “unrealistic.”

I also justified it to myself:

“I’m still new.”
“It’s okay, I’m home anyway.”
“They’re taking a chance on me.”

But none of those things were true forever. And they certainly weren’t helping me grow.

What finally pushed me to raise my rates?

I realized my male freelance friends with the same skills were charging 2–3x more.
I had clients not even flinch when I quoted higher.
And I saw that every hour I underpriced was an hour I could’ve been with my family.

That last one hit hard.

Every freelance hour costs me something.
Whether it’s dinner with my kid, or a moment of rest I deeply need.
So I started asking: “What would make this hour worth it?”

And then I charged accordingly.

How I Shifted My Money Mindset:

I stopped charging by the hour
→ Instead, I offered flat-rate packages based on value, not time.
I created “quiet confidence” pricing
→ Not inflated, but firm. I sent quotes without long justifications. Just:“For this scope, my rate is ¥XX,000. Let me know if you’d like to move forward.”
I practiced saying numbers out loud
→ This is underrated. Stand in front of a mirror and say,“My project rate is $800.”
Until your voice doesn’t shake.
I kept a “wins” folder
→ Client praise, successful projects, mini milestones — I review it when doubt creeps in.
I stopped apologizing for wanting more
→ Wanting to earn well doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you smart. And sustainable.

The Real Turning Point: Charging More = Working Less + Living More

The moment I started charging what I was worth, a few amazing things happened:

I didn’t need five clients — I only needed two good ones.
I had time to say “yes” to projects that lit me up, not just paid the bills.
I could turn down low-paying or toxic work — no guilt.

More importantly, I showed my son that his mom values her work. That it’s okay to ask for what you’re worth — even when the world tries to convince you otherwise.

And honestly? That’s worth more than any paycheck.

Mindset Shift 5: Letting Go of “Full-Time Thinking” + Embracing Progress Over Perfection

Mindset Shift #5: Releasing the “Full-Time = Real Work” Myth

For the longest time, I held onto an invisible standard:

“If I’m not working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week… it doesn’t count as real work.”

This belief was so deeply ingrained, I didn’t even realize it was there.

It showed up in small ways:

Feeling guilty when I closed the laptop at 2pm.
Comparing myself to influencers who “grind” until midnight.
Thinking I had to prove my schedule to clients, as if working less made me less worthy.

But slowly, I started to unlearn it.

Why?

Because motherhood taught me this unshakable truth:

You can build something meaningful in part-time hours —
if you show up with full-time intention.

I’m Not Full-Time. I’m Focused.

I don’t work 40 hours a week.
Some weeks, I barely clock 15.

But I’ve written entire blog launches in naptimes.
I’ve closed four-figure projects while stirring curry on the stove.
I’ve built trust with clients who never once asked me about my hours.

They care about:

Quality
Communication
Follow-through

Not whether I was wearing pajamas or typing between diaper changes.

What Letting Go of “Full-Time Thinking” Gave Me:

Freedom to stop chasing hustle culture
→ I no longer feel behind when I take a Wednesday off for my child’s school event.
Deeper creativity
→ Rested brains do better work. Period. And moms need permission to rest.
Permission to grow slow (but steady)
→ Not all growth is linear. Some seasons are planting. Others are blooming. Both are valid.
The courage to define success in my own terms
→ Not based on revenue charts, but based on how alive I feel in my work and home life.

Before vs After: A Look Back

Situation	Before Mindset	After Mindset Shift
Client asks for a rush	“Sorry, I’ll stay up late to finish it!”	“Thanks for asking — I can deliver it by X.”
Describing my schedule	“I only work part-time…” (nervously)	“I work 3 focused days a week to deliver top-quality work.”
Talking about money	“I know this might be a lot…”	“My rate is $XXX based on scope and value.”
Marketing my identity	“Just a mom trying to freelance”	“I run a business designed around what matters most to me.”

This isn’t about pretending to be more confident than you are.
It’s about reminding yourself of the truth:

You are already capable. You already have what it takes.

Sometimes the mindset shift isn’t about doing more.
It’s about doing differently.

Encouragement to You, Mama

If you’ve read this far, here’s what I want you to know:

You don’t have to work like anyone else to do meaningful work.
You don’t need a full-time desk, a fancy website, or a team of VAs.

What you need is:

A mindset rooted in your own values.
A voice that knows how to say no and thank you with equal grace.
The belief that your season of life is not a setback — it’s a strategy.

You are not “falling behind.”
You are doing it your way.
And that’s powerful.

Try These “Freelance Mantras” When You Doubt Yourself:

“Part-time hours, full-time heart.”
“Done is better than perfect — especially for moms.”
“Boundaries build trust. With clients, and with myself.”
“I don’t chase — I choose.”
“My story is not a weakness. It’s my superpower.”

Want to Reflect with Me? Here’s a Journal Prompt:

What would my freelance life look like if I stopped apologizing for being a mom — and started building like I belonged here?

Answer that for yourself. Then go build it — one focused hour at a time.

Final Note from a Fellow Mom in Japan

I wrote this post sitting at my kitchen table in Tokyo,
with a cold cup of tea and my son napping two rooms away.

The work may not always feel big, but it is.
Because every time we choose courage over apology,
clarity over guilt,
value over burnout —
we lead by example.

Let’s keep leading.

— A mom who stopped apologizing, and started building