Re-entering the Workforce After Maternity Leave in Japan
- The Pause No One Prepared Me For
- The Silent Expectations — And the Inner Earthquake
- Finding My Way Back — Slowly, Imperfectly, Bravely
- 📈 What Changed
- Redefining Success — and Coming Back on My Own Terms
The Pause No One Prepared Me For
There was no ceremony.
No HR rep waving goodbye.
No company-wide announcement.
Just one final Zoom meeting with a slightly awkward “see you in a few months?” and a quiet log-off.
And just like that — my career paused.
At first, I thought it was a simple break.
A temporary detour.
A respectful, state-sanctioned moment to focus on my baby before returning to the “real” world of work.
But what no one told me was this:
Maternity leave is not just a logistical pause.
It’s an emotional, professional, and identity earthquake.
And re-entering the workforce in Japan — even after just a year or two — is not as easy as the pamphlets make it sound.
The Myth of “Just Pick Up Where You Left Off”
I used to think I would slide right back in.
Same title. Same team. Same skills.
But reality hit differently.
- My old projects had been reassigned.
- My inbox was quieter.
- I wasn’t invited to the same meetings.
- People started saying things like “Oh, you probably don’t want to take on something too intense right now.”
It was subtle. No one meant harm.
But it felt like the company had moved on — and I was now a “maybe.”
Guilt Came from Every Direction
I felt guilty at work for not being fully “back.”
I felt guilty at home for leaving my child in daycare.
I felt guilty with friends for not being grateful enough for the time off.
I felt guilty with myself for wanting more — more fulfillment, more challenge, more… me.
And all the while, I wondered:
“Is it just me?”
“Did I forget how to work?”
“Am I asking for too much?”
The Resume Gap No One Talks About
My official resume showed “Maternity Leave: 1 year.”
Simple. Clean.
But the truth is messier:
- I was learning how to keep a human alive on two hours of sleep.
- I was project-managing a household.
- I was time-tracking naps and growth spurts, not KPIs.
- I was Googling “how to feel human again after night feedings,” not “new programming frameworks.”
I didn’t feel “unemployed.”
I felt overemployed — but not in a way the job market valued.
This Blog Post Isn’t a Complaint — It’s a Map
I’m writing this for any mother (or father, or caregiver) who’s felt that eerie drift between who they used to be at work and who they’ve become at home.
In the next sections, I’ll share:
- The quiet forces that shape how society sees moms returning to work
- What worked — and backfired — when I tried to “bounce back”
- Practical ways to re-enter with confidence and self-compassion
- What I wish someone had told me before I stepped back into that office
Because we don’t just “return.”
We rebuild.
And it’s time we started telling the whole story — awkward truths and all.
The Silent Expectations — And the Inner Earthquake
What Society Said Without Words — and What I Felt but Couldn’t Say
I went back to work six weeks ago.
Technically, I’m “back.”
But emotionally? Mentally? I’m in between two worlds.
At the daycare drop-off, I’m the mom with a laptop bag and a quick goodbye.
At the office, I’m the team member who leaves “too early” and says no to overtime.
I’m present everywhere, but I feel like I’m failing in both places.
And it’s not just in my head.
There’s a whole invisible network of unspoken expectations and quiet stares that remind me:
“You’re not the same anymore.
And we’re not sure how to treat you.”
🧍♀️ In the Office: “Welcome Back (But Not Too Much)”
During my first week back, my boss said:
“No pressure. We know your priorities have shifted.”
It sounded nice. Empathetic, even.
But it stung.
Because what I heard was:
- “Don’t expect to grow here anymore.”
- “You’re not as reliable as before.”
- “We won’t count on you like we used to.”
And maybe that was true.
But what no one asked was:
“What kind of career do you want now?”
Instead, they quietly assumed that “motherhood” had replaced “ambition.”
As if I had traded in my brain for diapers and cut fruit.
👩👧👦 Among Other Moms: The Quiet Competition
Strangely, I didn’t feel much safer with other moms.
There was the stay-at-home mom friend who said:
“I don’t know how you do it. I could never leave my baby that long.”
And the part-time mom who joked:
“I guess we’re the lazy ones, huh?”
Everyone meant well.
But there was this underlying current of judgment masked as admiration —
as if every path besides theirs was secretly wrong.
I started to realize:
No matter what choice you make as a mother in Japan,
someone always thinks it’s not enough.
Too career-focused? Neglectful.
Too domestic? Wasting your education.
Too balanced? Lying.
💭 Inside My Head: Torn in Half
The hardest part, though, wasn’t other people.
It was the voice in my own head that said:
“You’re not performing like before.”
“You’re not a good enough mother.”
“You can’t complain — you chose this.”
I couldn’t stay late, so I missed key meetings.
I couldn’t switch off mom-mode, so I forgot details I never used to.
I was so exhausted I cried in a nursing room at work once —
just from the pressure of acting like everything was normal.
But the thing is:
Nothing is normal after you give birth.
Your brain is rewired.
Your schedule is dictated by nap windows and fever calls.
Your body still hurts in invisible ways.
And yet, we’re expected to smile and seamlessly re-integrate.
🧩 The Discreet “Mom Track” Nobody Warns You About
In Japan, this is especially sharp.
Many companies offer maternity leave.
Some even support flexible hours.
But the unofficial consequence?
You’re quietly moved to a slower lane:
- Less leadership consideration
- Fewer stretch assignments
- Assumed disinterest in travel, overtime, or new roles
They don’t demote you.
They just stop looking your way when opportunity walks in.
And most moms I talked to accepted it.
Because “this phase will pass.”
But I started to ask myself:
“What if it doesn’t?
And what do I want to model for my child — acceptance or assertion?”
🔍 Not Broken — Just Undervalued
What if we stopped calling it a “gap”?
What if we called it what it really is:
A growth period in a different direction.
One where we developed:
- Time management under chaos
- Multitasking with emotional intelligence
- Crisis response (hello, toddler fevers)
- Patience, adaptability, and serious project management skills
I didn’t stop growing during maternity leave.
I just grew off-camera.
And maybe it’s time the world of work learned how to see that.
Finding My Way Back — Slowly, Imperfectly, Bravely
How I Rebuilt Confidence and Advocated for Myself After Maternity Leave
I wish I could tell you that one day I woke up and everything clicked.
That I walked into the office, gave an amazing presentation, and suddenly felt like my old self again.
But that’s not what happened.
What happened was much smaller.
Much slower.
And, honestly, much more powerful.
Because I didn’t bounce back.
I re-wired.
🧭 Step 1: Redefining “Productivity” on My Own Terms
In my first month back, I tried to match my pre-baby output.
Same emails. Same deadlines. Same pace.
And I failed.
Spectacularly.
What changed everything was a single sentence I wrote in my notebook:
“You’re not slower — you’re just working with more constraints.”
From that day, I started asking myself:
- What are the essential outcomes today — not the entire to-do list?
- What needs my attention, and what can I delegate or defer?
- Where can I trade perfection for consistency?
I stopped chasing efficiency and started chasing clarity.
And weirdly, I became a better team member because of it.
🗣️ Step 2: Asking for What I Need — Without Apology
I used to say:
“Sorry, I need to leave at 4:30 today…”
“Sorry, I can’t make that evening call…”
Now I say:
“I leave at 4:30 — let me know how I can support asynchronously.”
“I’ll follow up after the call with my input in writing.”
At first, I worried this made me sound rigid or unhelpful.
But the opposite happened.
Colleagues started respecting my boundaries more — because I respected them myself.
The real shift wasn’t in my words.
It was in my tone.
No shame.
No defense.
Just facts.
🧩 Step 3: Creating My Own Systems (That Actually Worked for Me)
I tried all the trendy productivity tools:
Notion. Time-blocking. Bullet journaling. Habit stacks.
But nothing stuck until I designed a system around my reality as a working mom.
Here’s what helped most:
✅ Weekly Planning in “Mom Blocks”
I stopped dividing my life into “Work” and “Home.”
Instead, I use three focus zones:
- Work Essentials — deadlines, meetings, deep work
- Home Anchors — daycare pickups, dinner prep, doctor visits
- Recovery Time — solo walks, sleep, no-screen breaks
If I plan for all three, I don’t feel like I’m constantly choosing one over the other.
💤 Energy-Based Scheduling
Mornings are sharper for me — I now do all writing & strategy work before noon.
Afternoons are more chaotic — I schedule calls, admin, or collaborative work then.
Evenings? Non-work or rest, full stop.
By aligning tasks to energy (not time), I get more done with less friction.
💡 Step 4: Saying “No” Without Guilt — and “Yes” to the Right Things
Early on, I said yes to everything:
- Taking minutes
- Extra onboarding tasks
- Last-minute edits for other teams
Why?
Because I was afraid of being seen as “less committed.”
But every yes took energy from my core contributions.
So I started practicing:
“That’s not something I can take on right now — I’m focusing on Project A.”
“Could we revisit that after this quarter?”
The results?
My work became more visible — because I was doing fewer things better.
🧠 Step 5: Rebuilding Confidence by Remembering What I Bring
I started keeping a private “confidence log.”
Every time someone thanked me, praised my work, or even copied me on an important email, I wrote it down.
“Great call facilitation.”
“That report really helped.”
“Thanks for catching that bug!”
Tiny things. But they added up.
Because postpartum brain fog is real.
Because imposter syndrome is louder when you’re sleep-deprived.
Because you forget your own track record when you’re busy changing diapers at 2AM.
Confidence isn’t ego.
It’s evidence.
And I had to start collecting it — like a scientist proving her own worth.
📈 What Changed
After about 3–4 months, I noticed something shift.
- I was no longer just “the mom coming back from leave.”
- I was the teammate with good ideas, clear boundaries, and fresh insight.
- I became a go-to person again — not in spite of my new reality, but because of it.
People started saying:
“You’re really good at simplifying things.”
“You have a calm energy in meetings.”
“I like how you approach trade-offs.”
What they didn’t see was:
I learned all of that during 3AM feedings, toddler tantrums, and quiet guilt-filled commutes.
Motherhood didn’t make me weaker.
It made me sharper, softer, and more strategic.
Redefining Success — and Coming Back on My Own Terms
Lessons From the Pause, and a Letter to My Past (and Future) Self
Six months after returning to work, I sat in a quiet corner of a café near the office, drinking lukewarm coffee and flipping through my old work journal.
Half the pages were covered in baby spit-up at some point.
The rest were filled with scribbled to-do lists, ideas for new systems, and mini pep talks like:
“You’re allowed to be both tired and ambitious.”
“It’s okay to care deeply — and still walk away at 4:30.”
“You are not behind. You’re becoming.”
And for the first time in a while, I didn’t feel like I was pretending to be myself again.
I was myself again.
Just… different.
🪞 Lesson #1: You Don’t “Return” — You Reconstruct
No one told me that returning to work after maternity leave wouldn’t feel like slipping back into old shoes.
It felt more like sewing a whole new pair.
One that fit who I had become:
Wiser, slower, sharper, more compassionate, more efficient — and far less willing to waste time.
This wasn’t a regression.
It was a reinvention.
And it deserved celebration, not apology.
⚖️ Lesson #2: Balance Is Not 50/50 — It’s Alignment
Before having a child, I thought “balance” meant equal weight.
Now I know it means intentional trade-offs:
- Some weeks, I over-deliver at work and rely on frozen gyoza for dinner.
- Some weeks, I show up at school events in muddy sneakers and miss a product review meeting.
- Some days, I feel like a superhero.
- Some days, I cry in the restroom — then wash my face and carry on.
And all of that is okay.
Because I’m not trying to be a perfect mother or a perfect employee.
I’m trying to be a whole person — one who is honest, imperfect, present, and evolving.
📣 Lesson #3: Career “Pauses” Can Be Career Power
There’s a myth that stepping away from your job — even for a few months — sets you back.
But I’ve found the opposite can be true.
Becoming a parent teaches:
- Leadership under pressure
- Crisis response under sleep deprivation
- Emotional intelligence in unpredictable scenarios
- Clear communication, ruthless prioritization, and next-level empathy
These aren’t “soft” skills.
They’re executive skills.
If companies saw maternity leave not as a detour, but as an intensive leadership bootcamp — we’d value women’s career journeys very differently.
💌 To My Past Self (and Maybe to You Too)
If I could write a letter to myself the night before I returned to work, it would say:
Dear Me,
You will feel scared, and that’s okay.
You will miss your child at weird times — during coffee breaks, during budget meetings, during Excel crashes.You will feel like you’ve forgotten how to do this.
And then you’ll surprise yourself — by doing it in new, better ways.You will feel judged.
You will judge yourself.
But eventually, you’ll learn that you don’t need to earn your worth through exhaustion.You are not just returning to work.
You are returning to a version of yourself you haven’t met yet — but will be so proud of.With love,
Your future self — coffee-stained, confident, and finally breathing again.
🌱 Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone
This isn’t just my story.
It’s the story of thousands of mothers in Japan — and around the world — who are quietly navigating invisible transitions.
It’s the colleague who leaves early and feels ashamed.
The friend who hesitates to apply for a new role because of a gap on her resume.
The woman who shows up, again and again, without applause, but with grit and grace.
So if you’re reading this while holding your baby on one hip and typing an email with the other:
I see you.
If you’re googling “how to sound confident in a job interview after maternity leave”:
I hear you.
If you’re exhausted and wondering if it’s worth it:
It is.
You are.
And you’re not coming back “less than.”
You’re coming back stronger, clearer, and deeply human.
コメント