How I Deal with Freelance Loneliness — Especially as a Mom - Beautiful Life of Tokyo City of one Women

🛤️ When you’re surrounded by tiny humans, but still feel alone.

🌙 “I should feel grateful, right?”

That’s what I used to tell myself on those quiet afternoons.

The toddler was napping.
The client work was (mostly) done.
The sun was shining through the curtains.

And still—I felt… off.

A little sad.
A little disconnected.
A little like I was missing from my own life.

I had chosen this freelance path on purpose.
I didn’t want to go back to a 9–5.
I loved working from home.
I loved being with my kid more than not.

So… why did I feel lonely?

🤫 The Loneliness No One Talks About

When I Googled “freelance mom life,” I found blog posts about:

Time blocking
Productivity hacks
Toddler-friendly routines
How to write emails with a baby in your lap (been there)

But no one talked about the weird, quiet ache of being on all day—for everyone—and still feeling unseen.

This loneliness was sneaky:

I wasn’t physically alone (hello, clingy toddler 🙋‍♀️)
I messaged clients all day (Slack, LINE, email…)
I scrolled social media (too much)

But the deeper connection?
The kind where someone gets what you’re going through without needing you to explain?

That was missing.

🔍 What I Learned the Hard Way

Freelance loneliness doesn’t look like sitting alone in a dark room.
It looks like:

Smiling during a Zoom call and then feeling empty afterward
Getting excited to go to the grocery store just to see another adult
Longing for adult conversation, but feeling too tired to text a friend
Wondering if your work even matters, since no one really sees it happening

This is the part of freelancing as a mom that rarely makes it into the highlight reels.
But it’s real. And you’re not the only one feeling it.

I’ve been there.
And slowly, over time, I’ve found ways to build a support system—without forcing myself to become a “networking mom” or joining every community under the sun.

🧭 Coming Up in This Post:

In the next sections, I’ll share:

🌼 Five low-pressure ways I stay connected as a solo-working mom
🫂 How I found freelance “friendship” without awkward coffee chats
🧘 What to do when social media leaves you feeling lonelier, not closer
🫖 A few rituals and check-ins that ground me in real life

This isn’t a “just join a community!” kind of post.
It’s a gentle guide, written by someone who gets it.

You don’t need to be extroverted.
You don’t need a huge network.
You just need a few small bridges back to yourself—and others.

Let’s walk through them together.

🌙 “I should feel grateful, right?”
🤫 The Loneliness No One Talks About
🔍 What I Learned the Hard Way
🧭 Coming Up in This Post:

Five Ways I Stay Connected (Without Burning Out or Faking It)
When “Connection” Backfires — And What I Do Instead
Redefining Connection — On My Own Terms

Five Ways I Stay Connected (Without Burning Out or Faking It)

Because being social shouldn’t feel like another job.

1. 🫖 “Small Talk with Depth”: Micro-Connections That Matter

I used to think connection meant long phone calls or in-person meetups (which felt exhausting as a mom).
Now, I value micro-connections: short, sincere, no-pressure moments with other humans.

Examples:

Sending a “thinking of you” voice note to another freelance mom
Responding with more than just “👏” on someone’s IG story
Sharing a resource, podcast, or meme that reminded me of a friend

It’s not about quantity—it’s about being real in small doses.

💡 Tip: I keep a “connection list” of 5–6 people I actually enjoy messaging. That’s it. I rotate check-ins naturally—no guilt if it’s been a while.

2. 📬 Async Voxer Chats Saved Me

Zoom tired me out.
Slack felt too formal.
But Voxer (a walkie-talkie voice chat app)? Game-changer.

I joined a tiny, private Voxer group with two other freelance moms.
We vent. We laugh. We cheer each other on.

And the best part? No pressure to reply right away.
It’s the voice without the schedule stress.

💡 Try it with one friend first. Say: “Hey, want to try Voxer instead of texting for a week?”

3. 🎧 “Borrowed Company”: Podcasts & Co-Working Playlists

Some days, I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just don’t want to feel alone.

That’s where “borrowed company” comes in.

What helps me:

Listening to casual podcasts by other creative moms
Ambient “coworking café” playlists on YouTube or Spotify
Opening Notion next to a silent Zoom with a friend (virtual coworking with zero chat)

Even digital background noise can ease the mental weight of solo work.

🧠 Favorite Podcast Right Now:“Mommies on the Mic” – honest talk, no fluff.

4. 🌱 Offline Rituals That Reconnect Me with Real Life

Freelance work is so digital, I sometimes forget I have a body. And a neighborhood.

So I started adding these gentle habits into my week:

Quick post-lunch walk with no phone
Watering plants slowly, mindfully
Popping into the local bakery once a week and chatting with the staff
Taking my laptop outside to work near nature

They’re simple. But they remind me: life is happening outside the screen, too.

🌼 Pro tip: I made a “non-digital recharge list” in my journal. I look at it when I feel floaty or low.

5. 🪴 Reframing “Community” as Something I Grow, Not Join

For a long time, I thought “community” meant:

Facebook Groups
Slack Channels
Networking events

But those felt overwhelming.

Now, I see community as something I curate—one kind interaction at a time.

Some of the people who lift me up most are:

Fellow moms I met in prenatal classes years ago
A web designer I met via a client who now shares resources with me monthly
A friend I voice memo with every other Friday

I didn’t “join” a group. I just paid attention. And followed kindness.

💡 Start here: Make a “People Who Feel Like Sunshine” list. Reach out to one this week—even just with a meme.

🌤️ Recap: My Anti-Loneliness Toolkit

Strategy	Energy Level	Connection Type
Voxer group	🌿 Low	Voice, async
Tiny check-ins	🍃 Low	Text/DM/Voice
Podcast “coworkers”	🌾 Minimal	Passive audio
Local rituals (walks, bakery)	☀️ Gentle	Offline presence
Community = people, not platforms	🌻 Honest	Intentional bonds

When “Connection” Backfires — And What I Do Instead

Because sometimes, the things meant to help just make it worse.

🌀 When Even the Tools Stop Working

There was a week last winter that I completely hit a wall.

Client work was steady, but dull.
My toddler had the flu—and so did I.
My usual Voxer group? Silent (everyone was burnt out).
Instagram felt like a highlight reel of moms “doing it better.”

I remember thinking:

“I did everything right. Why do I feel worse?”

That week taught me something important:

Loneliness isn’t just about who’s around you.
It’s about whether you feel seen—by yourself.

💢 The Trap of “Performative” Connection

When we’re lonely, it’s easy to:

Post on social just to feel visible
Say “yes” to online events that drain us
Scroll endlessly, looking for proof we belong

But for me, that kind of “connection” often backfires.

Instead of feeling uplifted, I felt:

More behind
More invisible
More stuck in my head

✨ Realization: Connection without authenticity can feel lonelier than isolation.

📵 My Social Media Detox (and What Came Out of It)

After one too many doom-scrolls, I logged off Instagram for two weeks. No farewell post. No dramatic exit.

I just… disappeared.

Here’s what changed:

I didn’t compare my day to someone else’s curated feed.
I had more time to actually talk to people in real life.
I started writing voice notes to friends instead of DMs.
I read actual books during my breaks.

But most importantly:
I remembered how I sound, when I’m not echoing everyone else.

🌱 Now I schedule “quiet weeks” off social media every month. Not as punishment—but as protection.

🧠 When You Hit Emotional Rock Bottom

Let me be honest:
There was a day I cried while making grilled cheese.

It had nothing to do with the sandwich.

It had everything to do with:

Feeling invisible in both work and motherhood
Missing adult conversation, but too exhausted to reach out
Questioning if freelancing was really sustainable for me

In that moment, I didn’t need productivity.
I didn’t need a webinar.
I didn’t need a pep talk.

I needed rest.
And permission to stop pretending I was “fine.”

🫂 What Actually Helped Me Reset

These were the things that slowly brought me back to center:

A 10-minute phone call with a friend who just listened
Journaling honestly—not beautifully—about how overwhelmed I felt
Re-reading kind client feedback to remind myself I do contribute value
Taking a Sunday completely offline (no email, no screens, no “catching up”)

And maybe most powerful:

**Saying out loud to my partner:

“I’m lonely. I don’t know what I need yet. But I need space to feel it.”**

Saying it aloud broke the fog.

🔄 The Real Shift: From Faking Connection to Letting Myself Be Found

I used to chase connection like a to-do list.
Now I try to notice it when it comes—gently, without noise.

A neighbor waving across the fence
A “random” DM that felt deeply timed
A client who opened up about their own working mom chaos

These are the soul-sized threads that remind me:
I don’t need 100 friends. I need a few safe people. And the courage to reach back.

Redefining Connection — On My Own Terms

Loneliness didn’t mean I was broken. It meant I needed a new way to belong.

🌿 “I’m not alone in feeling lonely.”

That one sentence changed the way I moved through my freelance life.

Not because someone handed me a magical solution.
But because I finally stopped blaming myself for feeling disconnected.

I realized:

I don’t have to be “on” all the time to be loved.
My best connections come when I’m honest, not perfect.
Loneliness doesn’t mean failure—it means I’m human.

🧩 Connection Looks Different Now

Today, my version of connection is quieter. Smaller. But deeper.

It’s not about:

Hustling into big communities
Posting daily to “stay visible”
Attending networking calls that drain me

Instead, it’s about:

Noticing who lights me up—and reaching back
Leaving space in my week for real conversations, not just tasks
Letting go of people-pleasing, so I have energy for people who matter

✨ I’m not trying to do connection.
I’m trying to be connected.

🫶 To You, Reading This

If you’re a mom working from home—juggling snack time with client calls—
And if you’ve ever sat in a quiet room wondering why you feel so far away from everyone…

You’re not weird. You’re not weak.
And you’re definitely not alone.

You deserve support that meets you where you are.
You deserve moments of true connection that don’t ask you to shrink, hustle, or pretend.

Start where you are.
With one voice note. One honest reply. One walk outside.
That’s more than enough.

💌 My Go-To “Connection Check-In” List

Here’s a printable journaling or reflection tool I use each Friday (yes, just 5 minutes!):

Prompt	Example Answer
Who did I actually enjoy talking to this week?	My friend Aya via Voxer
When did I feel most lonely?	Tuesday afternoon after toddler tantrum
What helped me feel grounded again?	15-min walk + reading fiction
Who could use a kind check-in from me?	Former coworker who just had a baby
One connection I want to nurture next week	Replying to a DM I’ve been sitting on

→ Use this to reflect, not perform. Connection begins with awareness.

🌱 Going Forward

I still have lonely days.
But now, I meet them with a little more softness.

I know what real connection feels like.
I know what drains me.
And I know that I don’t have to navigate motherhood and freelance life alone.

You can build something gentle, powerful, and entirely yours.
That’s the kind of community worth tending to.